why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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