:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
