that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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