After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
