I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
