is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
