One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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