Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
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He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
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We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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