Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize