i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
