I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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