I haven't been this sober since birth.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
