I think I died a long time ago.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize