your room smells of hookers.
And success
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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