Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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