check it out our google latitudes are spooning
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
