I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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