Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you had me at cake vodka
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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