Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize