Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
