ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
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Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
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He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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