I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
