I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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