If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
and you fell through a lawn chair
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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