Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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