i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
