big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
