you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
