i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize