There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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