Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
