Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
