after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
