Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
