found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
