and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
