I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
