Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
