Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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