Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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