The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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