"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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