She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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