I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
