your thong is hanging out like whoa
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
