she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
