Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
