Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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