Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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