franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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