i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
