I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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