i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
