we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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