Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
