Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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