The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
