Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
