I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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