You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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