I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
