I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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