i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
