After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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