Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
