butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
this just has baby written all over it
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
