finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
