Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
